fairy tales


Being “sucked” into a korean drama brings out the worst in me. I become so consumed, that I have difficulty concentrating on the things that matter. My mind becomes a reel for re-playing the scenes, thinking about the characters, the plot, the fictional melodramatic story… that is secretly every girl’s dream.

This time is no different. I have been swept into this thing that is supposedly all the rage in Korea currently. And I know it’s not real. I know things that happen in a drama could never happen in real life. Perhaps that is where they hold so much attraction for those of us who have become, in some ways, largely cynical to the world around us. It’s nice to get caught up in temporary pleasures, if only for the hope that it brings… that somewhere out there Prince Charming comes to rescue his fair maiden, the “common girl”, whether fictional or not.

I love juxtaposing this fictional world to the real story of true love. Because in the real story, I am the common girl, and I have no gifts to offer, but my Prince has already come to save me. He has saved me from the ultimate punishment of death. He has taken my place. Maybe that’s why my heart yearns so nostalgic every single time I watch one of these Korean dramas. Because I know it will never happen in the “real” world, but it  weaves a story parallel to the greatest story of all.

Boys Over Flowers: 24 Episodes in all. I have watched 12 of them. And all week, I’ll probably be thinking about, and replaying, these episodes in my mind. But the thought that echoes currently is that God is faithful. His is the greatest love story ever told. And that thought can make me wait in anticipation for next weekend, when I will be able to watch the next several episodes.


chasing rainbows


monterey jack cheese has hints of sharpness and nuttiness about it.

yesterday my co-worker and i saw a huge rainbow in the sky as we were driving to a client’s home. instantaneously i was reminded of God’s promise to noah. today, i saw another rainbow struggling to shine in the midst of dark, threatening gray storm clouds. the rainbow proudly lifted its head and declared to the clouds, “you can’t hide me, i will shine through!” – which it obstinately did. as the rain came down last night, we found sanctuary and haven in a friend’s living room, brightly lit and furnished with comfortable couches and chairs, and simultaneous co-occuring conversations here and there while we caught up with one another’s lives… the rain could do no harm… laughter and chatter mixed in with torrents of rain drumming off the walls… it was hard to say good-bye and good night.

so the first week has passed and i am eager for what is to come. building rapport, trust, and establishing relationships will be difficult, but i long to let my young clients know that there is a safe space in the midst of our relationship. i want to hold out hope for them and their families, and help them realize the world is not such a scary place… or perhaps it is, but they have the tools they need to go out and conquer, whether or not they are ADHD, or bipolar, or struggling with autism, or divorce, or anxiety.

i almost feel afraid as i think about the burden and the load of this type of work. but then, I am reminded by that still, small voice, that it is not me who does this work. in reality, He cares for them. He changes them. I simply need to be open to Him using me towards that purpose. I marvel at how the pieces fell into place for this job… experiences I have had in the past that I did not give a second thought to, suddenly materialize and re-introduce themselves to the relevancy of this journey… like roadmarks God has placed along the way.

Only one week has passed. Many more are looming ahead. The economy is still bad. Sometimes I fear that I will be laid off before I can even make a dent of an impact. I fear that I will not be able to bring to the table my best as a clinician. I’m only starting out, I remind myself. He must have seen something in me to bring me to this point. Each week will be a challenge. But I’m excited. When I’m not scared, I feel confident. Confident in my abilities, confident in what God has blessed me with, confident. And I feel right. Again, like all the pieces fit. And that this is what I was called to do.

We shall see.