midst

when simple song lyrics have the power to cause a lump to form in my throat and threaten tears from somewhere deep, i know God is doing something special. it is not without its price – the stretching and the pain, and the realization of my brokenness and my need for utter and complete dependence upon Him, because I fall so short – but He gives grace and mercy in abundance. He does not withhold. and i am so grateful.

i thought the hardest seasons of my graduate school career were over last spring with the successful passage of competency exams. alas, i find i am much more stretched this summer with two externships, one which is so utterly challenging that i continually question what i’m doing there, but amazing and full of gratitude at the same time, being a peer consultant, a teaching assessment, taking two classes, and applying for 16 internship sites.

life outside of graduate school is not much freer, as i was asked to intern for a cell group last minute, and Encounter preparation is in full swing. Tapestry Church is full to the brim, and we are moving our physical location in one month. i’m thinking about new relationships – how to maintain and express interest, while my current friendships evolve.

it’s hard to see an end to all of this, but i know the end is slowly coming. i tell myself, remind myself, to enjoy the process, to enjoy the ride, to drink the cup, and be fully present. it’s difficult, because i forget instantly. but again, God in His grace, gives abundantly. He is faithful, and I know that to be at this moment of being stretched in these ways, when there is so much on my plate, but I love every bit of what I’m doing almost equally, must mean there is something special to be had around the corner.

so i continue to hold on and trust. God is in my midst, and I shall not be moved (psalm 46.5)